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Fiction Hunting Trip

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by ravenss, Mar 18, 2015.

  1. ravenss
    Skink

    ravenss New Member

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    A note from the author: This IS my first time writing anything for Lizard Men. My comfort zone is DE and Skaven, so if anything is wrong here please let me know.

    Judge me harshly, Lustrians.



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    Tenquax had been stalking the prey for what seemed like hours.
    Each step he took closer was a tentative one, placed carefully on damp moss or stone to remain quiet.
    His tongue slipped out from between his teeth, tasting the air for the scent. The clammy taste of his quarry came back to him. The Skink shivered in anticipation. He looked to his left, where another Skink, it's hide a mottled green, crouched. Kroxhui grinned at him, showing off his razor sharp teeth. Each Skink carried four javelins, tipped with a deadly poison taken from jungle plants.

    Tenquax nodded, and the pair moved further ahead. They slipped around vines, skirted past pools of stagnating water, and when need be took to the trees. Not long after, Tenquax spotted the quarry. He held his hand up, and once again the pair became perfectly still. Tenquax looked sideways at Kroxhui, jabbing his head in the direction of the beast. Kroxhui nodded grimly, and readied his first javelin.

    Drawing his arm back, Korxhui rose into a standing position. He could see the beast clearly now, a rogue cold one that had been dragging off unwary Lustrians for the past few weeks. It's maw and front were still stained with gore form it's last kill, and the blood seeped into the water it was drinking from.

    Kroxhui snapped his arm forward in one violent motion, sending the javelin flying towards it's target. The cold one hissed in pain as the javelin buried deep into it's side, and took off running. Tenquax bolted forward, sprinting after the fleeing creature as fast as his feet would carry him. He could hear Kroxhui behind him, his breathing heavy.

    The cold one was easy to follow, its path smashing through anything that got in it's way. The Skinks vaulted a tree the cold one had bowled over in it's flight. The beast was still visible ahead of them, and as it paused to consider it's route, Tenquax let his javelin fly.

    The weapon struck the cold one just above the tail, eliciting yet another hiss of pain. It took off again, but it stumbled and listed side to side as it ran. The poisons were beginning to affect it. Cold ones were immune to many things, yet certain plants were still potent enough to kill. As it was, one nick would stop the heart of either Skink in seconds.

    Kroxhui hurled his second javelin, scoring a hit close to his previous one. Tenquax laughed, the harder the beast ran, the faster it would spread the venom throughout it's body.

    Still the chase continued, the cold one slowing with every step. Soon, the Skinks were running level with it, and Tenquax was forced to dive away as it careened to a halt. The creature lay on its side, gasping it's last breaths as the poison reached it's heart.

    As the light faded from the cold one's eyes, Tenquax and Kroxhui slapped their tails together.

    A successful hunt.
     
    Essmir and Scalenex like this.
  2. Kcibrihp-Esurc
    Razordon

    Kcibrihp-Esurc Well-Known Member

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    *Wild Applause*
    Very good piece. Vivid and striking imagery and still with good realism, keep it up!
     
  3. spawning of Bob
    Skar-Veteran

    spawning of Bob Well-Known Member

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    Very nice.

    I like the simple "day in the life of..." style - particularly in contrast to how much world ending peril and galctic significance we have all been subjected to during the End Times.

    Once in a while we should all just celebrate the fact that lizardmen are lizardmen and cold ones are tasty. That is what makes us all human err, Lizard.

    Except for Mr (Sk)ravenss.
     
  4. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    What Bob said, "A day in the life" pieces are nice. You can tell a good story without having the fate of the world hang in the balance. By an astonishing coincidence, I would consider that a general forte of the writers at U-E given how Skaven struggle to survive every day.

    I also liked that you established he was a "rogue Cold One" making me think of the old movie Ghost and the Darkness, which neatly explained why Skinks were hunting a Cold One instead of an herbivore.

    The use of non-verbal communication was excellent.
     
  5. ravenss
    Skink

    ravenss New Member

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    I'm actually planning to start mixing my Skaven into some fluff here on L-O. Give some of the Skaven-ignorant
    Scale-Things a taste off verminous goodness. Don't worry, the story will still be centered around Lizard Men.
     
  6. spawning of Bob
    Skar-Veteran

    spawning of Bob Well-Known Member

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    Either or. We've all got tails, brother.
     
  7. Kcibrihp-Esurc
    Razordon

    Kcibrihp-Esurc Well-Known Member

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    But the awesome ones have scales, brother.
     

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