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Fiction The second coming full.

Discussion in 'Fluff and Stories' started by skink chief, Oct 8, 2015.

  1. skink chief
    Kroxigor

    skink chief Active Member

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    Part I: The Vision.

    It was a clear night. Stars filled the sky with light and glow.
    The Skink Priest was in trance. His face lifted up towards them.
    Eyes closed but intensly focused. In meditation he was looking for their
    destination, their meaning. He was out in the Jungle,
    sitting on the mountaintop. A temple room was not for him.
    He liked coming here, where the stars are out, where he felt at home
    between them.

    There it was, the spark. Countless nights this revered Priest glazed at
    the nightsky. Looking for patterns, looking for connections, looking for
    answers. The spark does not come often but when it does, a vision will
    appear.

    He saw the edge of a jungle, temples in the distance.
    The vision brought him closer. Patches of mist upon patches of mist.
    Was his vision this clouded? No,... no it was not.
    These were no ordinary mists. These mists were glowing green and brown.
    The vision stayed put, he could not go any further.
    He would have to decipher this image before venturing onwards.
    After some thought, he found it. This was the defiled city of Quetza,
    but why was he brought here?

    Nothing happend. Was he wrong? Was this not Quetza?
    The image stayed with him. What now? What is it he needed to venture forth?
    He was able to look at the sky, and there it was, or rather it wasn't.
    The Constalation of the rat was missing from the sky. This was it, the answer he
    needed. The mists then dissapeared and the city was in full vieuw.

    At the very edge of the jungle he stood, then the vision went further.
    This time however, he felt a presence. After concentrating on this
    presence, he saw it. Footsteps were leading him to the city.
    The footprints were those of a skink, but the skink itself could not
    be seen. This was new to him. He had visions before, but when
    a presence was felt, a body would be present. Not this time...

    The presence brought him to a great temple. Instead of venturing up
    the templestairs, the footsteps made it's path to the undercellars.
    Trough what seemed like a maze filled with serpents, an opening
    was in vieuw. This opening was not made, but created by devestation.
    Upon entering the room it was pitchdark. But in the darkness there was a glimmer.
    Two Shining plaques, he saw. It was then that the vision abruplty ended.

    For days he pondered on the vision he had. Searching it's meaning.
    Finally he thought he had the answer. The constalation of the rat had ended.
    The defiled city of Quetza would no longer be uninhabitable, as the
    foul mists in the vision had clearly lifted to unveil the city.
    This he came to rather quickly, but it was the presence that kept him in struggle.
    Why was their no body, only footprints in the sands?
    He thought he figured it out...

    Part 2: Seeking approval.

    He knew Time was short, but his vision would have to be discussed with the
    greatest of the Slann. He seeked to find them in meditation.
    Telepathicly he was able to gather a few of the greatest Slann's.
    Upon speaking of his vision, and his plan, the Slann's stated they would
    meditate on it. Time was against him. Only 7 months remained before the
    end of the constalation of the rat, and the Slann's would take their time,
    as they allways did.

    The waiting made him do the unthinkable. Lord Mazdamundi would had to be
    disturbed. Telepathy did not work, the Slann was in to deep a
    meditational state. A state the skink priest could not enter. So he went
    to the temple where Lord Mazdamundi resides. The skink priest praised himself lucky.
    His revered status would persuade the guards to wake the great Lord.

    After speaking with the Lord of the Solar-city and telling him his vision and plan,
    the answer of Lord Mazdamundi was the same as the answers he had received
    from the other great Slann's. Though he tryed to reason, begging and
    stating that time was against them, it did not matter. His efforts seemed
    futile.

    What was he to do? Wait for the Slann's? They would be to late to answer,
    of this he was sure. If he did not wait on their approval,
    he would be going in against their will. Something not easely done.
    If the outcome of the plan was not as he invisioned or if he misinterprated
    his vision and acted upon it, he would fall of his revered status.

    The thought was tormenting him, but he felt he had no choice.
    The vision was of great importance. He could feel that fact in every
    inch of his body. Two shining plaques... It was all he could think of.
    Surely this must be a vision concerning the great plan.
    The first Coming, Sotek... It was a skink then that was praising his coming.
    Might this be yet another coming? One that will again come from a skink?
    There was no time left. It was time to act.

    Chapter 3: Finding the unseen.

    His mind was made up. With each passing day chances of succeeding
    dwindled. Seeking out Tiktaq-to was the first step to complete his plan. The vision
    was clear. He could not venture forth without the answer, and the answer was
    found in the sky. Tiktaq-to, the Master of Skies, he needed him and none other.
    A good hunter that could travel great distance in a short amount of time.
    Someone of note that would have audiance and influence to carry out the mission.
    He sent out his followers with word to seek out the hero.

    It did not take long for Tiktaq-to to reach the temple of the skink priest.
    After telling the hero about the mission he had planned for him,
    It became clear that Tiktaq-to would not do his part without any persuasion.
    The Slann's did not give the skink priest reply, and Tiktaq-to did not
    feel comfortable helping with a plan that had not been accepted by their
    councel. But the priest was cunning. Tikraq-to is foremost a very
    pridefull skink leader, and talking in on his pride would be the key to
    convince the hero of helping the priest.

    Tiktaq-to's mission was incredably hard. He had to find Oxyotl.
    Tracking him, would be like tracking a ghost. The cameleon skink
    would at times not be seen or heard from for years on end.
    They were fortunate though. Oxyotl was last seen in Tlaxtlan,
    the city of the moon, only 4 weeks ago. This could give Tiktaq-to some
    clues as to where he might possibly find the cameleon or his tracks.

    Nine weeks passed without any word from the Master of Skies.
    Then there he was. Oxyotl entered the chamber of the Skink priest.
    He looked eager to hear what the priest would have to say. The priest
    was taken by joy. How did Tiktaq-to find him? Upon asking the question,
    only laughter came out of the cameleon skink. Oxyotl was not found at al.
    It did not take long for him to realise he was being tracked.
    When he found out that the one that was tracking him was the Master of Skies.
    Oxyotl presented himself.

    The priest and Oxyotl were enjoying themselves over the story.
    It was a good thing the cameleon skink did what he did.
    He was the only one that could do the task. That was why there were
    only footsteps in his vision. That's why there was no body to
    place the presence. The unseen hunter, a name that the vision
    had taken rather litteraly. Atleast this was the hope of the priest.

    The cameleon skink suprisingly did not seem to care too much that the
    Slann's did not yet agree to the priest's plan. Though the problem
    was that he needed to enter Quetza. A task that might claim his
    life. Being taken by poisenous mists or infested pools,
    is not an end any are eager to meet. If anyone were to live up to the task,
    it would be him. He lasted in the Realm of Chaos and he was even able to return
    from it. What was a defiled city compared to that.

    Part 4: Thread carefully.

    The priest had explained exactly what was requested of him. The Temple he had
    to enter, the lower level maze, the finding of the crack in the wall.
    All was explained and Oxyotl was prepared to give his life if the priest happened
    to be wrong. But none was as important as the timing, the priest had said.

    The very first night when the constalation of the rat had ended.
    It had to be that night. The vision had so abruplty ended that the priest was in
    fear of being too late. A collaps of the room, a devestation of some kind, maybe
    another that would find the plaques. It was unthinkable, for if these plaques
    were lost or got into the wrong hands, who was to say what would happen. This
    concerned the great plan, and his mission would have to be executed perfectly.

    Oxyotl came to the last strip of jungle. From here on out it were marshes,
    sinkholes, twisted rotten trees and mistbanks ahead. However, it was the silence
    that worried the cameleon skink the most. None of the two moons were visable,
    they were hiding behind the clouds. Distant light in patches of nightsky was the
    only light that could guide him, but even in darkness Oxyotl would find his way.
    The light was not enough to distingiush color though. That very fact made his
    mission more dangerous. Unable to define if these mists had weird colors from
    a distance, he would have to go forth gambling his life, he would have to get close
    enough to catch their smell.

    He sniffed the air. Tainted, foul. A bad omen to begin with. There was no other way.
    Oxyotl held his pace for a moment. Was he being trapped? He had blindly followed
    the priest's words out of great respect. He found himself doubting the true nature
    of his mission. Ever since he had come back from the Realm of Chaos, Slann's would
    avoid him. He wandered the jungles not to be near to society. Did the priest want
    to get rid of him? He shook his head. If this were to be his end, then so be it.

    Part 5: Entering Quetza.

    Carefully he ventured forth, avoiding as many risks he possibly could. Finally
    he reached the City of Quetza. Destruction and filth was all around. Bones of Ratmen
    and lizardmen were everywhere. Though one thing gave him great joy, sound.
    There it was. From the edge of the jungle to this very point, all sound seemed to
    have dissapeared. Now, he heard the wristling of snakes in the temples. The joy
    the sound gave him quickly dissapeared. The children of Sotek were the only beings
    able to withstand the poisen and the plagues left behind by the ratmen.
    They were no guaranty he would make it out with his life.

    He stood in front of the temple he needed to enter. The sounds grew louder.
    In the maze he would encounter them, thousands of poisenous snakes. When under control
    these snakes would not hurt a lizardman, but he had no reason to trust them now.
    Entering the temple undercellar would prove to be difficult. Climbing walls and
    ceilings to avoid the snakes, all without making a sound. If a singles piece of wall
    were to fall because of the weight, all hell might break lose.

    The priest did not remember the path in the maze clearly, so he would have to enter
    it blindly. Knowing his kin had traps in these places did not make him feel more
    comfortable. He would have to use his skills to the best of his ability.
    Dead end after dead end, he was beginning to lose hope. Tracking living things
    that was his skill. But plaques leave no footprints, no smells... Smells. You dumb
    skink, he thought to himself. Maybe the devestation of the temple happened after
    the death of the rats. They would have stolen the plaques if they had found them.
    Cleaner air was what he was looking for.

    After a moment of intensly mapping the maze with nothing but his nose, he found it.
    A room in the distance where the air seemed to be less tainted, less foul.
    It took him some time to reach the room, but there it was. A crack in the wall,
    an opening big enough for a skink his size to enter. As he entered the room,
    it became clear this room was long fogotten. The air was less foul, but it was old,
    very old. This crack was not created a long time ago, it couldn't have been.
    The air was so old, it almost choked him. It had it's upsides though. The snakes did
    not care for it either.

    The room was filled with gold and ancient devices that must have surely come
    from the Old Ones. This was a treasure even a skink would want to claim his own.
    For Oxyotl it was an oppertunity, a chance to prove his worth to his kin.
    To prove he was not tainted by Chaos, that he could be trusted.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2015
  2. skink chief
    Kroxigor

    skink chief Active Member

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    Part 6: Dark Times.

    It was a clear night. The stars were a magnificant sight to behold. Morrslieb,
    the smaller of the two moons orbiting Warhammer, was an ugly smear on the nightsky.
    Known as the unfavorable moon by the lizardmen, for the moon was nothing like
    Mannslieb, it's bigger brother. Mannslieb was a beautifull moon, white and grey,
    it fitted the sky perfectly. Morrslieb however was black and green, an ugly sight.

    He stood in a field, an open plains. To his right was a city, great temples towering
    high in the sky. Before him were spawning pools. He saw Tetto'Eko. The revered
    skink priest was sitting on his Palanquin and was giving orders to his kin.
    It seemed they were in a hurry. A spawning was taking place. Spawnings do not happen
    often anymore and when they do, it is a Slann Mage Priest that oversees the event.
    To see a skink priest do the ritual was a strange sight, even one of Tetto'Eko's status.
    It troubled him to say the least. This is not our way, he thought. Who gave him
    this task? Getting closer to the spawning pools he noticed the ritual was almost
    at it's end. The new spawned lizardmen would soon come out to join there brethren.

    The spawnings were Oracles.A little bigger then skinks and with two tails instead of one.
    They did not seem to be normal oracles though. Something about them just didn't fit.
    The stream lined vision was gone. In the blink of an eye an image was all that
    remained. In the image he saw the Oracles were coming out of the spawning pools.
    Tetto'Eko with his arm stretched, pointing and clearly shouting commands.
    Then something even more troubling. Morrslieb,.. You ugly bastard.
    Morrslieb eclipsed Mannslieb. When this happened, dark times could very well be
    upon them.

    The image dissapeared, but a new vision instantly came to him.
    Fire, destruction,...war. He saw an Oracle standing on top of corpses. He wore
    patches of armor, and his scales were thick. Thicker then a normal skink his scales.
    That wasn't all. He was clearly shouting and giving orders. Then it got even more
    weird. He was... Was he casting a spell? Oracles were beacons true wich a Slann
    could cast, but this was not what was happening. The Oracle was clearly casting.
    A giant fireball came hurling from the Oracle. He could not believe what he was
    seeing. This vision... It made no sense.

    On the other side of the battlefield he saw saurus warriors fighting eachother.
    Lizardmen were attacking lizardmen, chaos was everywhere. How could this be?
    Another one of these oracles was there, casting aswell! This one looked
    different. No thicker scales, but some sort of magical protection was over his body.
    Like Slann's have. He could not make any sense of it. Grief was taking him. Seeing
    the destruction of temples, lizardmen fighting lizardmen. Chaos, fire and blood
    everywhere. Sorrow crawled into his Heart. He did not want this vision any longer.
    He could not take it.

    Lord Mazdamundi had awakened.

    Part 7: The Message.

    Oxyotl had entered the temple where Tetto'Eko resides. Plaques in hand and a broad
    smile on his reptilian face. The priest could not hide his relief and joy.
    He had done it. The unseen hunter had found a path true the maze that led him
    to the secret chamber, so long ago sealed and forgotten. He had come back alive,
    wich would indicate that Quetza was no longer defiled by the plagues and diseases
    the ratmen had left behind.

    Oxyotl presented the tablets to the priest. He told his story. The dangers he
    had encountered and how he found his way in the maze. The vision was very
    clear it seemed. Once understood, the plaques would find their way into the hands
    of the priest. The plaques were still dusted, Oxyotl had not read them, though
    the priest doubted he could read them even if the chameleon skink would try to do so.


    If the plaques would be translated in the human tongue, this is what they would say:

    When the ten align
    See them as my sign
    For it will be time
    An important step
    of the great design

    Before the jungle dies
    The firstborne's will rise
    Following the ocean tides
    fulfilling their destiny
    before the Old One's eyes

    Manlike beasts
    with minds diseased
    shall be released
    and on their corpses
    we shall feast

    The second one:

    On the night
    The great moon loses the fight
    And gives us no more light
    It will be time
    to show my might

    Let them be born
    My children of the storm
    Our enemies will mourn
    by their brethren's corpses
    completely torn

    You will see
    gifted they will be
    setting our world free
    from chaos and darkness
    if only you kneel to me

    Part 8: Decyphering the plaques.

    Tetto'Eko was trying to decypher the plaques. Written in ancient tongue, long lost
    forgotten by the vast majorety of his kin. The only ones that would be able to read
    them were the eldest of the Slann, and Tetto'Eko himself. He had studied the tongue
    and it seemed this would not be in vain. Every word took a full day untill finally,
    he had decyphered them all.

    It would seem the first plaque talked about the 10 worlds aligning, something that
    would take place in the not to distant future. It talked about his people marching
    out of the jungle, marching for war. Following the ocean to a world were manlike
    beasts reign the lands. Ofcourse the reptilian race did not travel on oceans like
    men or elves. But the direction of the ocean tide would lead them there. A portal
    could be formed by a Slann in the very heart of the land of these manlike beasts.
    His kin had not marched out of their jungles in hundreds of years. And a great
    campaign had not taken place on other continents for millenia. It was a troubling
    text, but if this was part of the great design, then surely the Slann's would act
    upon it.

    The second plaque talked about the great moon losing the fight. The eclipse.
    Dark times would often follow after an eclipse of the great moon. It troubled him,
    this timing did not feel right. Maybe this time the dark times were upon their
    enemies. The next eclipse would take place before the ten align. He went on with
    reading the text. Children being born. A spawning was to take place that night.
    A new type of reptilian, gifted by the Old One that had left these messages to them.
    They would come to aid in the war to free the world from evil and despair.

    After decyphering the plaques, Tetto'Eko had no other option then to inform the Slann's.
    He had persued his vision, even when the Slann's did not give consent. It worried
    him to confront them with the obtained plaques. Surely they would forgive him. His
    vision was right and acting upon it costed them nothing. If anything, the news of
    Quetza would bring them great joy. He hoped this would led them to forgive the priest
    for taking action.

    Something unseen for ages was about to take place. The Slann's would have to be
    wakened from their trance. Their counsil would be needed, a hearing would take
    place.

    Part 9: The great gathering.

    Tetto'Eko would sent word to all the cities. Stating the Slann's would have to come
    in an urgent gathering. Even those that were in deep trance would have to be wakened.
    A swarm of skink messengers left the city in great hurry. The jungles of Lustria
    are immense and it would take months before the Slann's would gather. The gathering
    would take place in Itza, the first city. He chose Itza for the obvious reason
    that it is very centrally located in Lustria. The priest new not all the Slann's
    would come, but month after month more of them entered the first city.

    The day had finally come to speak to them. The Slann's of Hexoatl had arrived,
    including the Great lord Mazdamundi. Since Hexoatl is the furthest located city
    from Itza, he decided that no more would come. Hundreds of Slann's were in the city,
    each of them claiming a temple for themselves to reside in. In the greatest of the
    temples he would show them the plaques. A skink priest talking to an audiance
    of hundreds of Slann's. This was a sight none would think to see in their unnatural
    long lifespan.

    They had gathered in the great hall of the temple. The skink priest stood in front
    of a truly magnificent golden shrine made for the Old Ones ages ago. He told them of
    the vision he had and that he had proceeded in obtaining the plaques he had seen in
    it. The priest called for Oxyotl. The small chameleon skink came out of nowhere
    with two golden plaques in his four fingered hands. Some of the Slann's were already
    muttering. A gathering like this was ment only for Slann's, why is there need for
    a chameleon skink. He had risked his life to obtain the message left behind by the
    Old One, the priest explained. The muttering calmed down and eventually stopped.

    Tetto'Eko read the plaques and told them what he thought was their meaning. This
    took some time. Some of the eldest Slann came forth to read the undecyphered text,
    only to return to their place some hours later. The Slann's confirmed Tetto'Eko had
    decyphered the text properly. A load of worry fell of the priest's shoulders.
    At the very least he had it right, and he did not ask them here for nothing of note.
    One thing still made him anxious though. Lord Mazdamundi had not yet spoken a word
    since the gathering took place. His worry would soon be answered, as the Great Lord
    rised on his Palanquin to speak.

    The Lord of the Solar-City spoke of the message and his visions of civil war. He
    claimed the message was Evil. The impact his words had were immense. He is the
    eldest of them all, and if he speaks against the message, all hope would be
    lost to act upon them. The priest would not be able to go against their will this
    time. The names of Xapati, lord of Vengeance, and Tlanxa, lord of war, were shouted
    from time to time. It was of great concern that the deity did not mention his name.
    In the end it seemed hopeless, the lizardmen would stay in their jungles, who knew
    for how long this would be their faith, or so the priest thought.

    Untill the moment came. The moment when Lord Kroak entered the great hall.
     
  3. skink chief
    Kroxigor

    skink chief Active Member

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    Part 10: The Greatest of them all.

    The hall went quiet in the blink of an eye. All would go into a level meditation to
    gather so Lord Kroak could adress them with his words. Tetto'Eko followed their
    example. A vastness of space and stars surrounded them. He was in awe of this
    unbelievable sight. All of them had gathered here, gathered to hear the words of the
    greatest of them all.

    Lord Kroak spoke directly to Lord Mazdamundi. He had seen the vision that was given
    to the lord of the Solar-City. The vision was conflicted, chaos made the Slann's
    visions unreliable. Lord Kroak had a vision of his own. The time of hiding was at
    an end. A new era was upon them. An era of action, an era where the lizardmen would
    once again march out of their jungles, to rid the world of evil and Chaos. There was
    a chance that Lord Mazdamundi's vision would hold true, but the dangers of not
    acting upon the given message were far more greater. The world was in despair, and
    if their people did not march, all would be lost. Hiding was no longer an option.
    The lesser races would soon lose the fight, and Chaos would be upon all of them.

    When Lord Mazdamundi speaks, all of the Slann's follow. When Lord Kroak speaks, Lord
    Mazdamundi's words are close to worthless. The Slann's soon agreed with the eldest
    of their kin. The Spawnings would take place. At the time of the eclips only two
    cities will be ready for a spawning ritual. Hexoatl, the City of the Sun, and
    Tlaxtlan, the city of the moon. Lord Kroak gave orders to Lord Mazdamundi for
    overseeing the spawning ritual at Hexoatl. For his actions of recovering the plaques,
    Tetto'Eko would have the honor to be the first skink to oversee the spawning ritual
    in Tlaxtlan. An honor the small skink priest gladly accepted.

    The gathering ended. For the next couple of weeks, the Slann's moved out of the city.
    Preperations would have to be made. Tetto'Eko would be accompanied by Lord Alaki,
    to learn the ways of the spawning ritual. They ventured to the city of the moon,
    with a small army by their side. His plan was to come into fruition, and he was ready
    to take the next step.

    Part 11: The sacred ritual.

    The night of the eclipse had found them. Everything was set in place. Tetto'Eko was
    giving the last commands. Everyting needed to happen quickly now. When Morrslieb
    would hide Mannslieb, the first of the new spawnings would come out of the pools.
    The priest could hardly keep his exitement in tome. His subjects were running around
    all over the place. performing the ritual with some sort of reptilian chants and
    waving their arms upwards to the skies above.

    Darkness came. Though it was a clear night, and all the stars filled the sky with
    an immense display of light. The eclipse darkened the entire sky for just a brief
    moment. There they were. Coming out of the pool were Oracle like beings. Bigger
    then their skink brethrens, and with the two signature tails instead of one.
    Tetto'Eko saw that these Oracles were special. They seemed as if they were made
    for combat, wich was an odd thing to say about an Oracle. They were gifted, already
    he saw this fact.

    Lizardmen do not have an infant part of their life, they are born mature and ready
    to be thaught the ways of life among their kin. Tetto'Eko brought what seemed to be
    the biggest of the spawned Oracles to a temple in the city of Tlaxtlan. When talking
    with the Oracle much became clear. These beings did not only have the physical aspect
    for war, but they also had the inner energies for creating magic. As the weeks passed,
    Tetto'Eko tryed to teach him the ways of magic, but to no affect. He saw the Oracle
    had it in him, but somehow the magic it could posses did not come out by Tetto'Eko's
    teachings.

    The priest decided Lord Akali should give it a try. The results were incredible.
    This Oracle was able to learn the paths of magic no other skink type being was ever
    able to control. Four paths of magic could be teached to these Oracles. The path of
    Fire, the path of metal, the path of shadow and the path of death. All of it was
    strange. Skink priests only had an affinity for the paths of heaven and beasts.
    Yet these were two paths of magic the Oracle did not have in him.

    Since they seemed bigger and stronger then their kin, they were trained in combat.
    This led to even more amazement. When the Oracles were hurt, some sort of regeneration
    healed their wounds much faster then the natural healing of their kind. These Oracles
    would prove to be strong wizards, with fighting capabilities.

    On the Northren part of Lustria, in Hexoatl, another sort of Oracles were spawned.
    Tetto'Eko had recieved word from Lord Mazdamundi stating these beings had a Magical
    shield granted by the Old One that had empowered them. And that these Oracles were
    even more gifted with the ways of magic then skink priests. They seemed to be able
    to posess four paths of magic aswell, but not the same paths the Oracles spawned
    in Tlaxtlan could harbor. The paths of Light, Heaven, Life and beasts were paths
    of magic they could be teached.

    These events were staggering and soon the lizardmen had found hope again. Defending
    the jungles for ages, staying in their lands, while the lesser races dwindled in the
    darkness of Chaos. It was all soon to end. Soon they would march, and banish the
    great evil from this world. The new spawned Oracles had great leadership in them,
    and they would show us the way to victory in the long war ahead of them.
     
  4. skink chief
    Kroxigor

    skink chief Active Member

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    I leave it here with an open ending.
    Who knows if civil war is upon them?
    Maybe these new Oracles become great hero's that lead the lizardmen to many victories over Chaos..
    Who is the Old One and is he good or evil...

    The story was mainly written for 2 things. I would really like to see alvl 3 skink priest in our army with more path choices. And second I want our lizzies to finally see some action instead of hiding in their jungles all the time. The empire, dwarves, greenskins, elves dark and high, undead in general, chaos... they all had their fair share and more of fluff in the warhammer world. I want the lizardmen for once to be on the forefront of the war fighting another faction that has seen very little fluff to start their campaign against, the beastmen, first line of defence of Chaos.

    I hope you liked it
    Cheers!
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2015
  5. discomute
    Terradon

    discomute Well-Known Member

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    definitely an entertaining read, thanks for sharing! :)
     
  6. Bowser
    Slann

    Bowser Third Spawning

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    I do like a good cliffhanger! I like the distinct new oracles and the build up to it. Very cool story!
     
  7. Scalenex
    Slann

    Scalenex Keeper of the Indexes Staff Member

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    Nice. I updated your Lustriapedia entry to reflect the full version you have here. There is a lot of minor spelling and grammar errors. I'll give it a thorough proofreading in a week or so when the work of setting up the October-November short story contest is pretty much done. Unless @spawning of Bob wants to provide his keen editorial prowess on this lovely piece first.

    Mildly curious, here's a random paragraph. Your wrote it like this:

    It was a clear night. The stars were a magnificant sight to behold. Morrslieb,
    the smaller of the two moons orbiting Warhammer, was an ugly smear on the nightsky.
    Known as the unfavorable moon by the lizardmen, for the moon was nothing like
    Mannslieb, it's bigger brother. Mannslieb was a beautifull moon, white and grey,
    it fitted the sky perfectly. Morrslieb however was black and green, an ugly sight.


    Why not write it like this?

    It was a clear night. The stars were a magnificant sight to behold. Morrslieb, the smaller of the two moons orbiting Warhammer, was an ugly smear on the nightsky. Known as the unfavorable moon by the lizardmen, for the moon was nothing like Mannslieb, it's bigger brother. Mannslieb was a beautifull moon, white and grey, it fitted the sky perfectly. Morrslieb however was black and green, an ugly sight.

    Was that for stylistic reasons or is it a byproduct of what you typed it on?
     
  8. skink chief
    Kroxigor

    skink chief Active Member

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    Everything here was copy pasted out of my *kladblok* (clean sheet document?) File. So indeed a byproduct of the copy pasting to the site.. :)
     
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  9. spawning of Bob
    Skar-Veteran

    spawning of Bob Well-Known Member

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    This is an awesome read, @skink chief . The world is on the edge of something happening. (But Good or bad?????)

    A big weakness with WHFB fluff is that there is a constant stalemate because "sell more models". The unsatisfactory end of times and the pretty vague future suddenly make space for writers like you to write whatever you want.

    I hope some more writers choose original ways to end the world, because what's the worst thing that can happen? AoS?
     
  10. Scolenex
    Ripperdactil

    Scolenex Well-Known Member

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    I'm sure if we put our minds to it, we could come up with something worse. It would take a wide collaborative effort on the forum though.
     
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  11. spawning of Bob
    Skar-Veteran

    spawning of Bob Well-Known Member

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    Whoa, Scolonex. That is very "bamboo forest half empty" for you.
     
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